Why are we here?

I do love me some philosophy, but there's not time for that right now. And besides, I mean why YOU specifically are here.

I'm guessing it's 'cause you noticed me, noticing you from across the room. Or the internet. Whatever. Either way, you're probably wondering if I would be a good fit in your company/firm/boy band.

I think I would be.

Therefore, I am.

Not convinced?
Ask my résumé